It's Not About You

It's all about others.

We are full of ourselves. We place our ego at the center of the universe and measure things - including people. They are valued in as much as they contribute to our life. We make our happiness the only goal that matters.

But happiness seems to be an elusive concept, with no direct correlation to our wants or efforts. So far, the most accepted observation is that happiness "happens" to you when you serve others. Healthy relationships are the cornerstone of growth and contribution in life.

With the knowledge that nothing around inherently has a meaning and will be ground to dust over time, it seems evident that life cannot be about us. It cannot be about knowledge, wealth, fame, or happiness.

Life is about what you do for others. The faster you can get over yourself, the more you can do for the people who matter most. The key to creating collective well-being is to focus on improving the life of another person.

Our life is finite

Our life comes with a guaranteed expiration date - it is finite. But our service to others - the time, energy, and resources we invest - endures. Look through the lens of what will outlive you, and you’ll quickly see past self.

Acknowledging and embracing the fact that all our stories have an end can be profoundly beneficial and help us focus on being useful to others. The prospect of death leads to a greater appreciation of life, a more rapid formulation of values, more thought about the meaning of life, and stronger social connections.

Develop relationships

Your most significant contributions are what you put into your closest relationships. Giving your undivided attention to another person is a measure of how much you care.

Intently listening, even to people you have just met, is a remarkable way to create new relationships and deepen existing ones.

Life is about what you put back into the world, not what you take out of it. If it were quantifiable, every interaction with another person either fills their bucket or dips from it. A single bad exchange can counteract several positive ones.

We are, to a large degree, the product of what others have contributed to our lives. We just need to take responsibility and ensure we pay forward our gifts.

You may not control how another person initiates your next interaction, but you always get to choose your response. Assume the other person has a positive intent, whether real or not.

Help uncover hidden talent.

We often do not appreciate which types of contributions we are best suited to make or the ones we will find most rewarding. Many of us take a “what does the company want from me” approach to applying our talents, and we end up tailoring ourselves to suit our work rather than tailoring our work to suit who we are.

People take on roles they don’t want and stay in jobs that don’t excite them, never exploring a broader set of possibilities about the types of contributions they could be making.

The greatest strength is helping another person to uncover a hidden talent.

Remember that a family background or chronic condition does not define people. When you see a rare opportunity, take it. Life is too brief for living with regrets.

Grow yourself to contribute

You can’t be anything you want to be, but you can be a lot more of who you already are. I am more confident than ever that you cannot be anything you want to be.

Help a person bloom. Plant the seeds today that could grow for years to come. Tell someone how they have contributed to your life, while they are still around to hear it.

What matters is that you see how your effort can benefit other lives, now and into the future.

Remember that the most meaningful contributions in life start at home. Help the people around you achieve their potential and be all that they can be.

You have to find work that you know in your heart is making a positive contribution. The work you do should improve your well-being so you can do more for others. While your talents are nature’s best building blocks, they serve the world best when your efforts point outward—not inward. Your strengths and efforts must focus on specific contributions you can make to other people’s lives.

Contribution starts when you see beyond self. And the best time to start is now. Tomorrow is gone in an instant, another month rolls by, and eventually, you have missed years, and then decades, of opportunity to make meaningful and substantive contributions.

Real growth is the product of following your contributions more than your passions.

Knowing we’re making meaningful contributions to others’ lives leads to improved work outcomes and enhanced health and well-being. Each prosocial act creates energy that measurably benefits “the giver, the receiver, and the whole organization.”

There is only today.

We all share a great commonality that we only have today to invest in what could outlive us. After today, there are no guarantees.

You need far more celebrations of life, even before people know they are dying.

In the end, you are what you contributed to the world. Every morning, wake up and remind yourself: it’s not about me. Then ask yourself: How can I contribute to another person’s life today?